Dec 27, 2018.
Discovering my spirituality was a missing link I didn’t know I was missing. I always heard the phrase ‘body mind and spirit’ but never really knew what that meant. I was amazed when I started reading about it.
I found myself with a few odd experiences that affirmed the presence of God but I didn’t put two and two together at the time. I was all head, mind and brain. It overrode any heart because, afterall, how were the bills going to get paid from a soft heart? I powered through life denying anything intangible figuring I could pretty much master anything if I set my mind to.
But once I discovered I had a life-force within helping me to my highest good, I started thinking more in terms of a unit – body mind AND spirit. I started cobbling together a custom crafted spirituality to go along with my good habits of food and exercise. I began thirsting more than a camel storing up water from all kinds of wells. And with the current pop trends of meditation and stillness to combat our compulsive culture at large, there was certainly no shortage to choose from.
I cherry picked the most appealing parts rolling them into one authentic brand of spirituality that fit for over twenty years. But when MS struck, I had very strong premonitions something was wasn’t right with my method. My head told me I wasn’t doing anything wrong. My peers told me I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Yet my heart said otherwise. And unfortunately, it always had the lesser say.
Yes, I believed in the Ten Commandments and thought they were good principles to live by. I thought I did a pretty good job of them but started getting subtle inclinations I was breaking the first one. How technical or serious did I want to take them anyhow? But they got stronger. It was rubber meeting the road time. I needed to choose one path.
I decided to try the one-year plan, put all my eggs in one basket for a year. I dropped all the cherry pickins’ and adhered to one belief system. And things shifted dramatically.
I was catapulted further than ever before. The freedoms I felt in other periods of my life were beautiful but eventually dried up. It wasn’t until disease coerced me to focus on something infinitely beautiful that I found something infinitely richer and impossible to dry up.
Too bad it took ill health to find it. But to think I could’ve missed it because I was complaining about it.