Being versus Doing
Not only loosing my drivers license this year but also my mobility scooter was a blow. The electrical is fried and down for the count. Currently walking with a walker at the pace of your great grandmother, it left me pretty much home bound. Talk about cabin fever.
The Ministry is kind enough to replace the $4,ooo machine but the process is lengthy and cumbersome (and so it should be to weed out fraudulent cases). So that is where I’m at. Initiating and jumping government hoops. Looking into rentals. Coordinating rides. And examining my walls. Which leaves a lot time on my hands.
It made me realize that my running around the city being a part of various groups was my ‘doing’. When driving slowed to scooter speed and distance I began to wonder what my new doing is. And now with that temporally gone, its really got me thinking.
The great doing-being debate. We hear about ‘being’ all the time but what exactly does that look like? Twiddling your thumbs while the grass grows into hay fields? With hours on my hands and no way of picking up dish soap or milk, or having physical ability to do chores about the house like I used to, I’m forced to face my identity without ‘doing’.
Thank goodness I’m a strong believer in Holy Trinity that takes any challenge out of it. I know beyond a doubt whose I am and my security, worth, identity all come from that one source. But how does that translate to filling the hours on my hands? Life involves taking out the garbage and vacuuming whether we like it or not, can do it or not.
It reminds me of my novel. Originally the protagonist moves home for her mom to help out physically but Mom gets sick and can’t. But alas she does help out by appreciating the daughter for being home. To be at home under moms roof, near her heart while she faced a major ordeal was the healing they both needed. The garbage and vacuuming got done but wasn’t the priority.
So with my current circumstances and the inability to ‘do’ anything like scrub floors or cut the grass, I’m faced with staying in the very day, the very moment, being present to God. That could mean helping another child of His by receiving, by listening, or it could mean doing the dishes or a light chore.
Staying out of past regrets and future awfulizing is real work. Replacing negative defeating thoughts with the gratitude, goodness and ways to bring light to the world is a full time job.
And for skeptics? Here's a what-if exercise. What if there was a God and He were really in control of everything? What if I have the assurance tomorrow will be taken care of? What if I knew I was secure hands down? I would probably breathe a sigh of relief. It would free me up to enjoy the blackberry bushes or the notice the eagle flying overhead or watch the goat stampede at the Beacon Hill petting zoo guilt free.
That's His freedom. Knowing and trusting my worth and my security come from Him.
And like any good father He provides the things I need when I need them, shut in or not.