• Mona

Restlessness


“are you busy living, or are you busy dying?”

I once heard a man share about his work life. He had no trade to speak of and was always coming up with a new job. He jumped from one trade to another like a frog. He himself said had he'd stuck to one thing, he would have been way further ahead at his age now in his mid 50’s.

Restlessness, anxiety, doubt, competition all contribute to an indecisive, worried mind and keep a person hopping. An antidote is to stay on task until completion until the goal is met. Be determined. Be disciplined. Faith without works is dead.

Recently loosing my driving privileges due to health. I just couldn’t get settled in my new shrunken world. Life was reduced to mundane tasks in a very narrow perimeter. I’m poker slow anyway but without a car to speed up silly errands, they now took up all my life. Consequently nothing seemed to have real purpose or importance anymore. I jumped from one task to another looking for fulfillment, one to the next letting my feelings dictate the next move. Only to bounce around more. I couldn’t stay settled. Then all that bouncing seeped into my thinking mind. Being all over the map in there, I was worse off. So for me following through was key. And being disciplined enough to do it. Knowing my priorities and keeping them straight. Even simple things - returning phone calls, library books, mailing that letter - all ranked high on my list. My weekly exercise regime. Regular meals, sleeping, waking up. The say much more than just the surface responsibility.

And with waiting as my new occupation, I learned more about patience. To be ready for my rides meant getting out there ten or fifteen, sometimes twenty, thirty minutes sooner. Each way. So while I’m waiting, I meditate. On the solution. Instead of reviewing my problems from every imaginable angle which only magnifies them, I try to keep my focus on Him and our growing relationship. Some call it pollyannaish but meditating on God and His Word pay out enormous dividends in peace and real joy. It is placing your trust in Him.

Remembering all His benefits, the good things that lifted my heart once before are good to keep front and centre, even if the original emotion is dead. Feelings are not the end-all be-all. They’re helpers that’s all. ‘Forget not all His benefits” is one of the sharpest tools in the drawer. Which in effect is meditating on the solution - the solution to problems I can’t solve anyhow. Then I take comfort in completing the small task at hand trusting that He can and will take care of the larger ones.

That way when restlessness, anxiety, and doubt enter the picture and clamor for space in my mind I can go to sleep at night rest assured I did my best in the 24 hour slice I was given today because I was busy living.

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